Excuses, excuses

I have been told that I " have an excuse for everything." I tend to agree but only because I feel I need to explain myself. Oops there I go again. Do you see how easy that is. For instance, the reason I'm writing this blog now, is so I can explain to my Newsletter subscribers why this weeks email hasn't been sent out. Now, I could tell you the true version which isn't sexy, exciting or even interesting, or I could pull from my bookshelf of titillating excuses ( in this case lies) and share something juicy.

Let's see. OK so, Yesterday was the solstice and I was up all night conjuring earthly magic in order to save the universe so I didn't have time to publish the Newsletter. Or how about, We drove down a seriously crazy road to the beach and the truck got stuck so I couldn't get to a computer in time. ( I could even add a story about receiving help from a hansom and mysterious traveler) Not your cup of tea? A freak tsunami hit the island knocking out the power and internet. ( maybe a little to close to a sad reality)Why not just go over the moon. So I'm super sorry about forgetting this weeks Newsletter but as I was sleeping I was awaken by bright lights flashing in the night sky. I went out onto the lanai to investigate and was instantly suspended within a tracker beam. I was lifted up into a massive disc shaped spaceship and taken up to the Mother ship which was concealed among the debris ring of Saturn. I found myself among a large group of Earthlings and aliens from all reaches of the Universe. We all stood frightened and confused until the most beautiful, rhythmic music streamed out, filling the room and our souls. Unable to contain ourselves, we danced and drank of the elixir that was passed from time to time. This continued for an unimaginably long time until eventually I woke up in my bed with an unearthly hangover, to tired and grumpy to even attempt to publish the Newsletter. Now after an excuse like that, who would want to here that the real reason I couldn't send it out because I'm too cheap to pay for an upgrade? Sometimes fiction is better that fact as long as no one gets hurt.